"I'm sure back home they think I've lost my mind." -- Ben Folds Five

2004-02-13 - 12:06 a.m.

I pretended to be large and in-charge at work today by acting like I have the authority to hire people.

This is ultimately my plan to take down Athena, the old man ho in some way that I haven't quite figured out yet, but I'm sure it will all pull together and become the epitomy of the perfect brilliant plan that I'm accustomed to pulling off on a regular basis (like that time I went to Wal-Mart to get mint extract, thought my mom was behind me, yelled "HERE'S THE MINT EXTRACT!", and some strange redneck woman was standing behind me and goes, "How did you know I wanted mint??", and I played it all off by telling said random redneck that I was actually psychic. See? Flawless!! And totally planned!! *coughrightcough*).

Anyhow, this girl comes in with her cat and actually REMEMBERED me from an appointment I had with her and her cat approximately two years ago.

Of course, I was impressed.

So, we go into the examination room, and the girl proceeds to spend the next half hour excitedly telling me about some obscure Disney movie that I've never heard of. She's jumping around while telling the story, getting louder and louder. I'm pretty sure she's got some form of ADHD, but I digress.

Then, she spent another twenty minutes analyzing the movie for me, pointing out what each character (one being a CAT) was FEELING at each major part of the film.

"I like her," I thought, thinking of all the craziness that would ensue if this girl were behind the scenes at the vet hospital.

"You know," I said, "you should apply for a job here. We're hiring."

*Hide evil grin! HIDE EVIL GRIN!!*

"REALLY?? YOU'RE? YOU'RE HIRING??? REEEEEAAALLLLYYY?!? REEEEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLYYYYY??!!??"

*Muahaha! Someone peppy who Athena will hate because Athena hates anyone who's happy! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!*

"Yes, let me give you the office manager's number. Call her or go by and fill out an application!"

Then, I gave her directions to the office manager's office.

Then, I went to the back and told everyone that I think I found a new assistant and that she was VERY enthusiastic, which technically, isn't a lie.

Then, I laughed because someone had eaten Athena's lunch and she was pissed.

IT WASN'T ME!!

Yeah, I think I should start job hunting for real now. I mean, I have a bad feeling all this calculating to sabotage people at work is making me appear to be unstable, WHICH JUST ISN'T TRUE, DAMMIT!!

*coughcough*

Also, for valentine's Day, my stupid boyfriend wants me to ride across the state with him to his stupid best friend's house so they can swap car parts.

He claims it will be a "romantic" trip, and we'll have "quality time" together in the car.

I got pissed off and told him to go alone, and then he offered to pay me $50 to ride with him, and I told him, "It's not worth it."

Then, he spit his drink out because, apparently, he wasn't expacting me to say that, and APPARENTLY, he found my reply quite humorous, and suggested that I get a sit-com, because you know, I'm sure everyone will want to tune in to episodes where I do stupid things like attempt to sabotage my place of work by attempting to hire a really bubbly, Disney movie-obsessed cheerleader-type girl, measure people's asses as a joke (only to be reprimanded unfairly and hated for eternity by evil doctors) and obsess over ewan McGregor, Ben Folds and this whole marriage business.

Hey, if I could change the channel, I would!! I'd be in a different tv show, like "The O.C." where everyone's rich and hot.

And yes, this entry was horrid, but can you blame me? I'm going on 4 hours sleep and 25 cent burritos (3 days in a row now. This really has to stop.)

Muahahahaha!!

Hmm, perhaps I should look into a job as a villian? That could be fun. And it probably pays better than vet tech.

the forest - the trees - randomness