"I'm sure back home they think I've lost my mind." -- Ben Folds Five

2002-01-11 - 7:49 a.m.

Today is the day.

Yep, it�s the day I go to the head of the lab and give my one-week notice.

I am about to drop a major bombshell on the place. No one is expecting me to quit. My boss is gonna freak. It�s going to be so nice to watch the expression on his face when I drop the news:

First, a smile�

(�she�s kidding��)

Then, the smile will slowly fade�

(�she IS kidding� right?�)

Then, a look of confusion�

(�wait a second� did she say she�s *quitting* ?�)

Next, the mouth drop�

(�Oh shit. She�s not kidding��)

A look of desperation�

(�ohmygod� she can�t quit! I�ll do anything! Please don�t quit!�)

Then sadness�

(�I�m gonna miss her� no, wait� I�m gonna miss bossing her around� *sigh*�)

And anger�

(�what the eff does she thinks she�s doing?!? Who the hell does she think she is?!? I am boss. Me big and strong! I rule lab! Uh, uh, uh!�)

Finally, the little vein on his forehead will turn purple and start bulging out, and I bet it might even burst this time� then he�ll have an aneurysm and drop dead right on the spot�

No, wait� that�s not how the story is supposed to end�

The little vein on his forehead will turn purple and start bulging out, and he�ll get up and storm out of the lab to start spreading the rumors up and down the hall. You know the ones� I�m a crazy psycho. I quit his lab. I stood up to him. How dare I??

Then, people all over the lab will come down to confirm the rumors, and I�ll explain,

�Why yes, I AM quitting. What? Another job? No, I�m looking around, though. Yes, nice knowing you, too. Why, thank you, and good luck to you, too. Uh, huh� Buh-bye� (fakers)�

Then, he�ll come back down to the lab, after having come to the realization that Shawn and I do everything for the lab, and we both just quit� then, he�ll realize that he actually doesn�t know anything about any of the experiments that our lab is in charge of, because he�s spent the past 8 months checking his email and fighting with co-workers over stupid things while I did all the experiments. Then will come the �uh, oh� moment, where all he�ll hear in his head will be, �uh, oh� I�m in trouble now� oh, crap��

Meanwhile, I�ll be dancing around the lab, singing Ben Folds songs, on top of the world.

He�s gonna be pissed. Shawn is dying to see it all happen, too. It will be so nice for both of us to watch him crash and burn.

On another note, the company I work for is a huge, worldwide company and yesterday I did some investigating at work and found the Chairman and CEO of the company�s address. He will be getting a letter from me, as well as documentation of the company�s harassment policy and a copy of my work record, which is excellent. They have messed with the wrong person. I did my homework. And Shawn�s sister is an attorney. Yep. Not to mention the fact that my mom got wind of all of this and is ready to tear the place and anyone standing in her way, down. You don�t mess with her �baby� (that�d be me). I feel sorry for my boss. I�d hate to deal with the wrath and fury of an angry mother.

Anyway, I�m okay. I�m kinda pumped about standing up for myself and all of the B. of S. people in the lab. It seems like I�m the only one who is brave enough to tell everyone what I think to their faces. All the other B.of S. people are just signing the letter and walking out. But I think the jerks at work should all know how we feel and how they�ve been treating us.

If anyone reading this is thinking of working for a lab in Summerville, SC, email me first so I can warn you of the dangers and overall crappiness of the job (not the job itself, but the people who work there). If anyone likes conflict in the workplace, email me and I can hook you up with a non-friendly, hostile-environment job.

Signing off� wish me luck telling my boss off today! :)

P.S. � Trip to Europe this summer is still on. We�re starting in London and working our way through to France and we still haven�t decided which country we�re going to end with � I�m pushing for Italy, though. :) Any interested parties (in other words -- wanna go on the trip of a lifetime?), contact me via email and I�ll give you the so-far details (which are still few) of the trip.

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