"I'm sure back home they think I've lost my mind." -- Ben Folds Five

2002-09-08 - 2:47 p.m.

I stopped in for a quick update on my current situation, even though what I SHOULD be doing right now is frantically scrubbing my apartment, because Christian will be here in less than four hours! ACK!!

*ahem*

So, yes, I guess I just gave away the ending. You can stop reading now, if you’re not a detail-oriented type of person.

Christian called me at 1:24 pm. He said, “GOOD MORNING!”

“Good afternoon!”

“Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing, really.” *I said this as I was frantically scrubbing my kitchen floors*

“What are your plans for tonight?”

“Um, well… as of yet, I don’t really HAVE any…” *a blatant lie*

“Oh, ‘cause I was going to make sure it was okay if I came over. I get done here at the airport around 5, so maybe 6-ish?”

“OKAY! Six o’clock. I’ll be looking for you at 6!” *this was my opportunity to make up an excuse so he wouldn’t come, thus avoiding any chance of possible Adam/Christian conflict, but he’s like a damn Siren! I hear his hot siren-like voice and my mind turns to cute, dorky, pilot boy mush and my concept of reality/common sense gets totally skewed. Not that it isn’t totally skewed already. He makes it even MORE skewed.)*

Approximately 4 minutes later (at precisely 1:28 pm), Adam called:

“I won’t be home ‘til around 6. So, it’ll be a little after that before I get to your place, okay?”

“Errr…”

“Is something wrong?”

“Uhhhhmmmmm…”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Well, see, Adam, it’s just, uh…”

“Hmm?”

“I got this JOB! Yes! I got a job!”

“You got a job?”

“Yes! A job. Err… tutoring… you know, my friend Mya from work?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Yeah, she’s paying me to tutor her. I’m pretty excited. I mean, she’s PAYING me.”

“Oh, that’s awesome!”

“Yeah! And, ANYWAY, I’m going to be busy tonight.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just come by early this week. I have to show you this book. It’s really cool. It shows all these great hiking trails in the Blueridge Parkway. It’d be really good for the vacation.”

“Ahh… that’s cool…”

“Okay, but DEFINITELY early this week, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

*ahem*

Before any of you go casting judgment upon me, I’d like to state the following, in my defense:

1. My friend Mya actually IS going to pay me to tutor her in chemistry. Not TONIGHT. But she really is. Therefore, I was NOT lying.

2. Never did I say, “I’m tutoring Mya tonight”. I just said I was going to be tutoring Mya, and that I would be busy tonight, BOTH OF WHICH ARE TRUE!

3. NEVER ONCE DID I LIE TO ADAM.

4. If one didn’t pay attention to everything I said, one may have gotten the IMPRESSION that I was tutoring Mya tonight, and not hanging out with Christian, but THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID, and is it MY fault that some people don’t pay attention to details? I think not.

5. Adam is big and Christian is a nerd. Adam would kick Christian’s ass first and ask questions later. Adam is jealous, and even though he isn’t my boyfriend, he wouldn’t hestitate to kick Christian’s ass anyway, because he hates him.

6. Christian would seriously get his ass kicked.

7. It would NOT be a funny thing. Besides, his glasses would probably get broken in the scuffle, and glasses are expensive.

8. I REALLY want to watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” with Christian.

9. If I blew them both off, I’d have wasted a better part of the day cleaning my apartment for nothing.

10. I really, really, really like Christian, and my ex-boyfriend showing up here probably wouldn’t have earned me any brownie points with him.

11. I hate men and I think I’m going to move into a cave in the mountains and rough it out up there with a raccoon and bear friend, just like Grizzly Adams. I can eat roots and berries, and save innocent people who get trapped on treacherous cliffs! Maybe I can find a collie and call her “Lassy” and spend any other free time I have helping her save dumb little boy scouts named Timmy who fall down wells and abandoned mines and such… this is starting to sound like a plan. No more boy troubles! WOO HOO!!

12. Or, I can move to Tuscon and live with Phoebe, mooching off her dad and watching Moulin Rouge all day and night. And doing her biology homework and getting her an “A”. That is, if she doesn’t drop out of school to sit around watching Moulin Rouge all day and night with me. Hey, it was her idea.

the forest - the trees - randomness